And there was the Demian that I knew. Those who made contact with him can say what they like, but the reality was that he produced such fear, such internal disarray, that they looked away from the paths that he was treading. They thought that they were winning the battle, recovering their inner peace, but the one who leaves an open road ahead has not won anything. It should be clearly understood that the importance of Gatsby was that he treated Demian as an equal.


Gatsby spoke to me about Demian's success as a writer. On this subject he referred to the novel The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco as a book inspired by Demian. I knew something about the book, among other things that it had been written in early 1980. Demian must have been 12 or 13 years old. I was not one who asked many questions. I concentrated all my strength in assimilating in a sane way everything that came at me.

I thought that the spiritual entity —Satan I called him then— that was gradually incorporating itself into Demian, had done so when the latter was very young3, and that that integration, though on a small scale, because of its presence in the terrestrial sphere, had sufficient power by then to inspire certain people. In any case, either Gatsby in some way found a trace of Demian in this book, or it gave him the key to what Demian was disposed to do in the future.

"This is going to be like a game of chess", Gatsby used to say, giving a glimpse of the fact that he also had that same power to inspire people. "Each one is going to move its pieces on the great chessboard of the world".

But let there be no confusion. Gatsby's advantage would consist in showing himself, not internally as I knew him, because that way he would not be understood, but in the end showing himself. The world had to know him.

For me it was surprising to find that Rudolf Steiner also speaks of Ahriman as a source of inspiration for all types of work.


During the last few months of 1990, things became complicated. Very much so. Gatsby started to have problems with his girlfriend. At the end of the vacation that she spent in my friend's house some problem arose.

Because of his way of speaking, the elegance of his clothes, his cleanliness and his manners, everyone tended to think that my friend was rich. But it was not so in any respect. His girlfriend had known him with a beautiful car, traveling to see her and inviting her to spend a few days at a ski resort. With Gatsby, those moments radiated a very special light, and everyone thought that with him things would never change. She built a false image and, as she slowly found out that life with him was not going to be as she expected, she must have felt disconcerted.

She had completed her university career, and as she debated what to do with her life, economic security became an important issue. The plans that she was considering left her relationship with Gatsby a little to one side. Instead of thinking of how to maintain her loving relationship, she started to think of what she had to do to achieve the much desired economic independence at any cost. As was done in those days, she prioritized, doing what everyone did and separating the two questions. As a result Gatsby suffered.

My economic situation was also difficult. All the loans that I had taken out had a very high interest rate. My enthusiasm and my activities were focused on obtaining enough income to pay off those loans ahead of time and freeing myself of them. I slowly managed to get rid of one or two. Though I did everything possible so that my financial operations would not reach the ears of my family, since I did not want to affect their lives, my father got to know about some of them. At a certain time I started to notice some very strange behavior in him. I partly attributed it to the death of my mother and the empty space that it had left in his life. But there was something else. He seemed to be suffering enormously.


3. I knew from Gatsby, that when Demian was young, he already felt a revulsion towards all religious symbols, especially those of the figure of Christ, so Ahriman must have already been very close to him.