When many years later I learnt about Anthroposophy, I confirmed when reading Rudolf Steiner's biography, how important Kant had been and how Steiner had to overcome the tangle of Kantian philosophy to give birth to his idea of the human being and the world. Internally, that left in me a query regarding the figure of Kant that I closed forcefully when I read some time later of a conference in which Steiner spoke of Madame Blavatsky. Steiner explained that in Blavatsky's writings there was a certain tendency that made them inappropriate for people who were unprepared, those who when addressing the spiritual world, did not know how to distinguish truth from errors, both of which appear in her books. Steiner also talked about Blavatsky's life after death in which, as a type of compensation for her life on Earth —at least that is how I understood it—, she had turned into an active participant in Anthroposophy. This wonderful and encouraging way of relating one thing to another, made me think similarly of Kant. In that way I took his participation in Demian's instruction as a type of vital need to compensate for the errors that his philosophy had given rise to. At least that was my thinking.

Regarding my friend's previous statement, I have read how Steiner links Kant's philosophy with nominalism and the latter, in turn, to Greek skepticism as if that vision of the world repeated itself or evolved over time with the new influences of the period. Nevertheless, I cannot be sure that this is what Demian was trying to say.


I never spoke about it with him since not everything is about speech. Sometimes just stating that this is so is more than enough. As I say I never spoke about it with him but I would say that he recovered his memory in a few weeks. There was a moment in which the way that we communicated with each other changed. He no longer appeared not to remember anything and I had the feeling that he was able to access in specific locations of his memory, those events that occurred before the transformation. This was a noticeable change since from that moment onwards I did not feel I was talking to a stranger.

Demian always put a lot of effort into knowing himself. It is as if at every moment new doors were opening and he had to get to know the interiors which this portal opened onto. As if he continuously acquired new strengths and he strained to understand the origin of them. I watched him very closely and he knew it. He was also aware that no one knew him as I did, and that I noticed many of his changes. He was very receptive to that and I treasured it. I felt no need for haste in understanding him, but within me there was a question mark on this subject that I expected to be resolved.

Some time later I asked him who he really was. It was a question that came up naturally as part of the conversation that we were having. Sitting on my left, he looked at me calmly and fixedly. I asked myself what he was going to tell me.

"I'm a type of freak. Only half of me is human. The other half is extra-human."

He made a face and we laughed for quite a while.

I can state that that revelation did not appear strange to me. Stated barely like that, and out of all context, no doubt it appears so. But it was as if everything I had gone through until then had found an answer. And that answer, after all I had lived through with him, did not seem to me to be harebrained at all. I can state that in spite of not understanding how that could be possible, or even if it was possible, I had no doubts that it was so. What one experiences personally provides a strong sense of certainty and one knows, shall we say, without knowing.

Years later I could approach these processes through the concepts provided by the anthroposophical spiritual science. It provides invaluable help if these concepts are correctly applied to the situation in hand. With that help, I could now provide another name for what happened to my friend. Nevertheless I have called it "transformation" because it is what I lived through and perceived with my senses and I would like to go on calling it that.

In the light of Demian's revelation, it seems clear that something non-human was added to what my friend was, and that extra-human element took time to adapt to his physical body and to that part of the etheric body that holds the memory. A very special etheric body and physical body since very noticeable changes at the physical level were taking place in my friend, as I will recount later.